Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
BRING THE BAGELS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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