I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
