You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
