no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
