I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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