is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
