Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
