you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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