This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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