so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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