Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was CRYING into my vagina
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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