My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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