I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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