you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
