she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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