Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
