If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
