One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
