i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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