Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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