His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
