Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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