Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want to fling myself into the sun
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize