maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
