Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
