margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
