quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
