From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
