dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
