I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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