Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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