You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
