I got chris browned last night
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
