It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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