didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize