We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
