i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
nutella sex= disaster
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
