Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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