That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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