My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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