we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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