This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
