chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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