Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
