I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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