no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
