That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
