Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
