I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
