Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
