I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
