i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
