1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
