Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
