I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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