Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
