dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know her cup size but not her name....
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