ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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